THERE ARE TWO PRINCIPAL SCHOOLS of thought concerning the Origins of the Darwintern, viz.:

* the  Young Conspiracy Theory (YCT)

* the Old Conspiracy Theory (OCT)

Both schools, which are outlined below, have their fanatically passionate advocates, incontrovertible pieces of conflicting evidence, and dogmatic articles of faith.  But both, of course, are ''only theories''.

YCT: Young Conspiracy Theory

YC Theorists, such as Cora Tunnel, hold that Karl Darwin, as First Grand Master, created ex nihilo his eponymous global conspiracy pretty much as we see it today, and is therefore personally responsible for the whole Big Shebang with his publication of Origin of the Communist Manifesto in 1859. 

That notorious book's implied doctrine--that 'man is ''only'' an animal'--contains an inescapable corollary, to wit, that it therefore behooves us to conduct ourselves like brute beasts. And most especially, the beastly part about lots and lots of unbridled copulation.

All YCTists point out that prior to Darwin, mankind had lived since the Creation itself in a perfect Golden Age. War, poverty, crime, and the heartbreak of psoriasis were all unknown. The lion lay down with the lamb, the wolf frolicked with the three little pigs, and the caveman played fetch with the velocioraptor. The whole of humanity was in perfect harmony and accord, accepting the absolute and literal truthfulness of the Bible (as dictated by God to Moses, but only those parts subsequently deemed canonical, translated into Greek, thence Latin, thence English etc. etc.).

There was no discord anywhere to be found -- apart from occasional baraminological spats whether Certs was a breath mint, a candy mint, or (as fractious Unitarians perversely held) two, two, two mints in one.

OCT: Old Conspiracy Theory

OC Theorists, on the other hand, hold that the Darwintern is simply the latest manifestation of The Ancient Order of the Brotherhood of Pondscum, a shadowy and evolving conspiracy which spawned such secret and sinister orders as the Knights Templar, Freemasons, the Royal Society, the Illuminati, and the Senior Ladies Gardening Association of Rancho Cucamonga.  While agreeing with YCTists that the Darwintern is solely responsible for the moral degeneracy of our age, they insist it is simply the most recent branch of an ancient conspiratorial cabalgram.

OCTists offer as evidence for their claims the 'vestigal' features of the Darwintern, such as the secret handshake, byzantine organisation, cryptic code words, and anachronistic uniforms.

They further argue that no 'First' Grand Master, even Darwin himself, would have impishly created  a conspiracy with such 'artificial age' just to mislead his disciples.

And, the OCTists further assert, it is a matter of record (albeit disputed) that Lord Hope, having divorced Lady Hope on the grounds she had subcumbed to terminal Confabulationism, attests that Darwin swore on his deathbed he had no idea who the Grand Master of his day was.

Teaching the Controversy

Acrimony between OCTists and YCTists can be quite heated. YCTists are particularly prone to asserting vociferous objections to OCT, such as

* If the Darwintern evolved from Freemasonry, why are there still Freemasons?

* Darwinian perverts ain't no kin to no Knight Templars!

* The records of such disparate and ancient conspiracies couldn't have survived and converged in the Darwintern, as that would break the Second Law of Thermal Documents.

However, both camps have learned to subsume their differences in public in order to present a united Luddite front in oppostion to the vile machinations of the Darwinist International.

Nonetheless, this present CONSPIRAWIKI is proud to include articles by Creationist Scholars from both the YCT and OCT schools. In other words:

Teach the controversy!

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Main articles:

OCT: The Brotherhood of Pondscum and its Heirs

YCT: The Evolution of the Janitorial Pool