THE ANSWERS IN CABBAGES MINISTRY is a coalition of ''sola scriptura'' Fundamentalists who maintain the literal TRVTH of accounts whereby babies are delivered by the Great Stork to Cabbage Patches.

Dogma

Although devotees of a number of denominations support the Answers in Cabbages ministry, all agree certain core doctrines:

• Sex is unspeakably dirty.  If neither the Virgin Mary nor Jesus needed sex, then you don't, either.  The sooner sex is abolished, the better. 
• For millennia, mankind faithfully believed that babies are a cherished gift from the Great Stork, and conducted devotional rituals of praise and thanksgiving in Cabbage Patches.  Through the long Age of Faith, happy peasants enjoyed peace, happiness, and early delivery from the agonies of life at the hands of bubonic plague, crop failures, Grand Inquistors, and other blessed agents of release.
• Sex is an utterly filthy activity.
• The female ''menses'' has nothing to do with mythical Darwinian 'eggs', but is Divine Punishment for Eve's transgression in the Garden of Eden.
• Nothing is ickier than sex.
• Modern science, in the hands of lust-filled deviants such as Karl Darwin, has diverted mankind from its reverential Irreducible Perplexity in the face of the great cosmic mystery of our origins for the sake of justifying carnal yearnings.
• Have we mentioned yet that sex is disgusting?

Relation to Theory of Intelligent Delivery

There is a natural, but sometimes uneasy, alliance between Answers in Cabbages and proponents, such as the Dysovary Institute, of the science of Intelligent Delivery.  For legal reasons, the DI is circumspect in not actually naming the Intelligent Deliverer, but are obliged to signal their belief in the Great Stork with coded nudges and winks to overtly-religious congregations.

Such, of course, isn't meant to fool anyone, though it does lead some hardened AiC Fundamentalists to accuse the IDiots of diluted and impure faith.  But such differences are publically downplayed for the sake of presenting a united front against the perils of lascivious and Storkless Darwinism.