Welcome to 

THE DYSOVARY INSTITUTE

Center for Seances and Sub-Culture

The Center for Seances and Sub-Culture is a Dysovery Institute program which:

• supports research by Creation Scientists and other Creation Scholars challenging various aspects of Karl Darwin's pernicious theory of Natural Conception;
• supports research developing the scientific theory known as Intelligent Delivery;
• supports research in the social sciences and humanities exploring the impact of scientific materialism on culture.
• encourages schools to improve science education by teaching students more fully about the Theory of Evilution, including the theory's scientific weaknesses as well is its sole responsibility for all forms of moral depravity known to man.

The Dysovery Intsitute's Center for Seances and Sub-Culture has more than 40 Fellows, including dentists, realtors, chiropractors, call-center agents, computer technicians, catering staff and life-style gurus, as well as a number of public motivational speakers and consumer rights experts, many of whom also have affiliations with college fraternities and university sports teams.

The Center's Chief Director is Dr. Arthur Bladderwart, who holds a Ph.D. in the Dinosaurology from South Kansas Normal Institute of His Second Coming in Glory.

The Center's Affiliate Director is Dr Abe Chilehem, who also holds a Ph.D. from SKNIHSCIG, and a B.A. in Communications from the University of Washington.

Despite extreme persecution and ridicule, some true scientists have begun to fight back, courageously exposing Natural Conception as a most unnatural perversion of the TRVTH, and demanding the opportunity to place before High School students the daily-accumulating evidence to show where babies really come from. We have banded together and hired an army of lawyers and Public Relations gurus to found the Dysovary Institute, dedicated to the extirpation of heartless materialism from science, and the establishment of the TRVTH of the Cabbage Patch. It is time to teach the controversy!

Of course, no dogmatic Darwinist is willing to look at the glaring flaws in the Theory of Natural Conception, but we demand they be proclaimed.  It is a scientific fact that lion cubs are only delivered to lion parents, zebra foals to zebra parents, human babies to human parents. If life was created by fusing an ‘egg’ with a random ‘tadpole’, we would see giraffes with kittens for offspring, which never of course arises. The evidence overwhelmingly points to a system of Intelligent Delivery, whereby the young are delivered only to parents of its own kind, or Biblical baramin.

This is irrefutable evidence of Intelligent Delivery, and by inexorable logic, proves the existence of an Intelligent Deliverer. Now, we of the DI are steadfast in our faith in the Stork, but it is essential (in order to not run afoul of the Constitutional Establishment Clause), that we are entirely moot on the precise identity of the Intelligent Deliverer. We cannot rule out, on scientific grounds, the possibility that the Intelligent Deliverer is in fact a Pelican, a Cormorant, a Blue-Footed Booby, or indeed, FedEx. Some literalist Fundamental Cabbagists may be uncomfortable with this finding, but we urge them to keep quiet in public about this in order to maintain a united front against the Global Darwintern that is our common foe.

The Stork-denying ’scientists’ may claim you were conceived by your parents jiggling their sloppy naughty bits together, but did you actually see it? Were you there? Yet such is the outrageous demand made of you by ’science’, an appalling degradation of the sanctity of parenthood.

We of the Dysovary Institute are daily fighting the pernicious Darwinist doctrines which underpin every moral outrage abroad in the world today. We need your good will. We need your prayers. Most of all, we need your cash, as much as you can spare, and we need it now!

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